The Dangers of Gardening

Do you recall the “cucumber” I got in last year’s CSA share? The one I called Deathslayer?

Here’s a refresher:

This year, I have a house with a backyard and I’ve planted my own garden! I had some failures (my peas didn’t do so hot), some successes (my green beans and kohlrabi are delightful) and some downright horrific levels of plenty.

Remember my obsession with kale last year? This year, I planted four rows of kale from seed, thinking that half of it would die in the growing process.

I was wrong.

Remember when I bought the two giant bags of kale at the farmers market and lamented that I could only buy it once a week in this kind of quantity?

I pick that much every three days.

Poor Tim has made the comment “so what kind of kale are we having for dinner tonight?”

*sheepish grin*

What has also grown well beyond all hopes and dreams is my summer squash plant. Rather than go the typical zucchini route, I planted its yellow sister.

I pulled this out of my garden today, after seeing nothing there three days ago:

I think I will call this one Gigantor the Almighty.

In addition to Gigantor, I have 6 more of the yellow bastards I need to do something with. Here’s my short-term plan:

1. Slice and grill some for sandwiches.
2. Shred and make chocolate chip zucchini muffins.
3. Saute and serve with pasta?
4. Run around screaming “OMG WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH ALL THIS SQUASH?!?”

Never mind that I have to pick my kale…again…and I’m sure I’ll fill 3 grocery bags worth.

I fear the great quantities of garden bounty are making me crack.

ERMAHGERD…SQUERSH!

See? Losing it.

Dare To Tri

Hy-Vee Triathlon - Women's Elite 038

I’ve done a triathlon before.

Well, it was a team tri (my recap from my other blog), but a tri nonetheless. For the “tl/dr” version: I did the 18-mile bike leg with virtually no training and despite slogging up a very steep and very long hill during my leg, my team won the women’s team division! Mainly because of our college-level swimmer and marathon runner…but I helped!

Fast forward to today.

I signed up for the North Mankato Triathlon in July. Why am I doing a tri and a half marathon all in the same year?

Because I’m nuts.

Well, not really nuts in the “padded cell” kind of way…more like “what am I thinking?”

I’ve always wanted to do one, but never had a reason to do it. Then, when my 3-years younger cousin talked about doing this one, I knew I had to do it. Her goading got me to do my first half marathon back in 2010 and the Warrior Dash last year. As an added bonus, my sister’s house is mere blocks from the park where the race begins. Benefit: no worries about parking/travel!

I suppose I should ask her if I can stay at her house the night of June 30th! (Laura?) 😉

I was also greatly inspired by Meridith over at Swim Bike Mom (seriously, she’s my new hero) to tackle the tri. Just when I think I don’t have time to train for a mere sprint, she’s training for a goddamn Ironman all while juggling two kids and working full time as an attorney.

Working at a law firm myself, I can tell you how many hours the attorneys put in a week: A LOT.

So reading her story every day as she recovers from a broken foot gives me motivation and strength that I too can do this!

Anyway, it’s a sprint tri; this means it’s a .25 mile swim, a 13 mile bike and a 3 mile run. I could do the last two legs right now without training too much, but it’s the swim that’s going to be the biggest hurdle.

I tried lap swimming at the local community center pool in the late winter/early spring of last year after my glute injury and it was a mixed bag. I really enjoyed the swimming part of it and it didn’t take me long to be able to swim lap after lap without much trouble. What I didn’t like were the very limited hours for lap swimming and how goddamn crowded the lap swim got when it was open.

I’m more than happy to share a lane…just don’t be a dick and whack me every time we cross laps.

That got old and I haven’t been back since.

Instead I’m going to tour a local fitness center that has a pool and spin classes to see how crowded things get at the times I’d be wanting to use the pool and will probably begin training in earnest this week.

I’m giving the ankle another week or two before I start running on it again. I gave it a bit of the jog test this weekend (only went ~10 yards or so) and it felt good, but since I still get some twinges when I rotate the ankle, I’d rather err on the side of caution rather than fight through the pain and make things worse. (see last year and the pulled piriformis muscle that took 5 months to heal to 98% because I ran through the pain)

Wacky Gadget Wednesday

It’s time for another installment of Wacky Gadget Wednesday and this one is for my high-tech followers!

Do you find that you need a way to talk on your cell phone, but don’t want to hold the clunky thing?

Is making phone calls a tedious, boring chore that makes you sad?

Do you need to add a fruit accessory to your “fruit” phone?

Never fear!

Here’s the gadget you’ve been waiting for!

Wacky Gadget Wednesday

It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means?

WACKY GADGET WEDNESDAY!

I’ll admit, I slacked a bit this week with my WGW research. But fear not readers (all 3 of you), I still found something worthy!

I know you’ve all had the moment where you say to yourself “you know, I wish I had a plush heart…and not one of those valentine heart things…a proper heart with veins and shit!”

What if I told you that this thing exists? What if I told you it is also battery operated?

Say what?? Click for this week’s gadget!

Wacky Gadget Wednesday

“Wait a minute,” you say, “I thought this was a blog about health, wellness and cooking?”

Well, it is.

But if you also read my short bio off to the left there, you’ll also know that I have the sense of humor of a 10-year old boy who giggles when some says “poop.”

*giggle*

Back on topic, I used to do a podcast with my awesome friends J and T and one of our segments each episode was a wacky gadget or two. Much shrieking and crying while laughing ensued. So, since this is something I miss doing, I’m going to give you a wacky gadget every Wednesday on the blog.

So without further ado, this week’s Wacky Gadget:

Handerpants!

"What The F...?"

Are there times when you say “self…my hands just feel so…naked!” Well, wait no more! Now there’s Handerpants: y-fronts specifically sized for your hands. If you can’t live without these tiny tighty whities, then you can click on the image above to pick them up for $11.95.

No, Archie McPhee is not a sponsor of Health Kitten…I just love the weird shit they have for sale!

Happy Hump Day!