The Dangers of Gardening

Do you recall the “cucumber” I got in last year’s CSA share? The one I called Deathslayer?

Here’s a refresher:

This year, I have a house with a backyard and I’ve planted my own garden! I had some failures (my peas didn’t do so hot), some successes (my green beans and kohlrabi are delightful) and some downright horrific levels of plenty.

Remember my obsession with kale last year? This year, I planted four rows of kale from seed, thinking that half of it would die in the growing process.

I was wrong.

Remember when I bought the two giant bags of kale at the farmers market and lamented that I could only buy it once a week in this kind of quantity?

I pick that much every three days.

Poor Tim has made the comment “so what kind of kale are we having for dinner tonight?”

*sheepish grin*

What has also grown well beyond all hopes and dreams is my summer squash plant. Rather than go the typical zucchini route, I planted its yellow sister.

I pulled this out of my garden today, after seeing nothing there three days ago:

I think I will call this one Gigantor the Almighty.

In addition to Gigantor, I have 6 more of the yellow bastards I need to do something with. Here’s my short-term plan:

1. Slice and grill some for sandwiches.
2. Shred and make chocolate chip zucchini muffins.
3. Saute and serve with pasta?
4. Run around screaming “OMG WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH ALL THIS SQUASH?!?”

Never mind that I have to pick my kale…again…and I’m sure I’ll fill 3 grocery bags worth.

I fear the great quantities of garden bounty are making me crack.

ERMAHGERD…SQUERSH!

See? Losing it.