The Dangers of Gardening

Do you recall the “cucumber” I got in last year’s CSA share? The one I called Deathslayer?

Here’s a refresher:

This year, I have a house with a backyard and I’ve planted my own garden! I had some failures (my peas didn’t do so hot), some successes (my green beans and kohlrabi are delightful) and some downright horrific levels of plenty.

Remember my obsession with kale last year? This year, I planted four rows of kale from seed, thinking that half of it would die in the growing process.

I was wrong.

Remember when I bought the two giant bags of kale at the farmers market and lamented that I could only buy it once a week in this kind of quantity?

I pick that much every three days.

Poor Tim has made the comment “so what kind of kale are we having for dinner tonight?”

*sheepish grin*

What has also grown well beyond all hopes and dreams is my summer squash plant. Rather than go the typical zucchini route, I planted its yellow sister.

I pulled this out of my garden today, after seeing nothing there three days ago:

I think I will call this one Gigantor the Almighty.

In addition to Gigantor, I have 6 more of the yellow bastards I need to do something with. Here’s my short-term plan:

1. Slice and grill some for sandwiches.
2. Shred and make chocolate chip zucchini muffins.
3. Saute and serve with pasta?
4. Run around screaming “OMG WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH ALL THIS SQUASH?!?”

Never mind that I have to pick my kale…again…and I’m sure I’ll fill 3 grocery bags worth.

I fear the great quantities of garden bounty are making me crack.

ERMAHGERD…SQUERSH!

See? Losing it.

North Mankato Triathlon

Who ordered a ticket to the gun show?

Ten Things I Learned From Doing A Triathlon:

1. You can never train enough for the swim.
2. Training for the swim in a pool (when the swim is in a lake/pond) is ineffective. Also, see #1.
3. Don’t shift too fast into your big ring on the front lest you have the chain completely fall off your bike.
4. If the hill you’re biking up is too steep, just get off and walk it up. Nobody’s going to penalize you for it. Plus, your legs will thank you.
5. Hydrate hydrate hydrate.
6. Gu packs are your friend.
7. People are willing to shit themselves and keep going rather than stop and not shit themselves. (from observation, not practice – I’m not THAT hardcore!)
8. Planning your race pace ahead of time is useful in making sure you have enough “gas in the tank” once you get to the run.
9. Swimming sucks. It really, really does.
10. That I’ll never do another one ever again.
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The sprint triathlon (0.25 mi swim/12 mi bike/3.1mi run) I did on Sunday was my first and will be my last. Why? I hate swimming.

As a kid, I loved to swim. But, in the 30-some years since then, I have fallen out of love with it – especially swimming in a lake. I can’t fathom how much fish poop is floating around in that water and when you’re swimming in a race, there’s a high probability that you’re going to get some in your mouth. ICK!

Anyway, back to the story. Since I don’t like swimming, I made sure that I would train to swim twice the distance non-stop (i.e. 0.5mi) in a lap pool. Aside from the turnarounds (where I didn’t hang on the edge or touch the bottom of the pool), I didn’t stop once. I had a good time split and I felt great. I’m a pretty experienced cyclist and I know what my pace times are for running, so I found a tri pace calculator online to plug in what my finish time would be.

Note: I’m slow. Really slow. I know this. But my goal was to finish and not kill myself.
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