Super Freak

No, not THAT kind of super freak!

I’m talking about how I’m starting to freak out a little bit about the triathlon. Mainly: the swimming.

Over the past few days I’ve had these thoughts:

I’m going to drown!

There’s no way you’ll be able to finish!

What if there’s fish?*

I won’t be able to SEE!**

I’m not going to be able to finish!

I’m going to drown!

As you can see…I’m being quite rational about this. By “rational” I mean “irrational as hell.”

Before I did the half-marathon in 2010, I had an epic meltdown on the drive down (just ask my husband) because of the seemingly insurmountable task ahead of me.

Thirteen point one miles?!?! I’ve only been able to run up to ten! (insert hysterical crying and freaking out here)

It wasn’t pretty. Thinking back, I’m usually the calm, level-headed one in times of crisis and I usually don’t freak out. Not like that.

I made it through the half marathon relatively unscathed*** – slow, but unscathed.

That’s the biggest problem I’m having with the tri. Yes, I’m undertrained for it, I’ve come to accept it. I just want to finish.

However, I know there will be times when I need a rest. With running, you can just slow down (or walk) if you get tired.

Biking? Don’t pedal/coast or shift down to an easier gear (or walk the bike up the insane 1 mile long hill 5 miles into the 12 mile bike leg****).

With swimming? Um…beats me. All I can think of is “stop swimming” which means “drown.” I could float, but that’s just delaying the inevitable.

It’s too bad they don’t make mirrors you can strap to your head so you can do the backstroke and see where you’re going…lol.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. I’m freaking out because I don’t know what’s going to happen. Part of why I’m so good at my job is that I can research and anticipate and plan for anything so all the events I coordinate and projects I work on run smoothly.

With this, I can’t plan! Oh sure, I can read blog post after blog post about how “you’re going to freak out in your first open water swim” or how “you really should use a wetsuit” or that people will kick you in the face.

I want none of that!

I just want to have a good time***** and finish. But the more research I do, the more worried I get.

How do I calm my overthinking brain down so I don’t end up rage quitting the race? Or just so I don’t drown. That would be good.


* – Fish nibbling on me?! *shudder*
** – considering the possibility of no contact lenses for the race, this one could be valid.
*** – “unscathed” meaning “I couldn’t walk frontways down the stairs for three days afterward”
**** – I wish I was kidding. It’s a CATEGORY 5 CLIMB.
***** – as much fun as one can have while punishing their body for 1 to 2 hours.

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