I’ve got this nagging feeling like there’s something missing. Like I should be doing something else with my life; that I have a purpose for greater things. I feel like all I do is spin my wheels, driving a car I don’t want to be in, and going nowhere.
I do have some big changes coming up in these next months, ones I will not be discussing with anyone but my closest friends and family. Aside from that, I’ve been doing a lot of self reflection and proverbial navel-gazing to try and put my finger on what’s wrong. Marriage is wonderful – Tim’s actually one of the truly awesome things I have in my life. My job, while I don’t hate it, seems to be moving towards doing more stuff I don’t like and less of the stuff I love. Plus, there’s a whole other level of stress with recent business developments that I’m not sure I’m ready to handle. As the years go on, I have a hard time reconciling what I do with who I do it for. I’m an environmentalist and there are things I just can’t stomach.
Does that mean a career change? Who knows – but that will have to happen far down the road. There are many things I would love to do as a career (if I could get paid to do it), but it’s just not in the cards right now.
[EDIT] – Not that a new job will fix things, it’s just a general dissatisfaction with things at this moment. [/EDIT]
I’m going to chalk this post down as stream-of-consciousness venting and leave it at that.