Archive for January, 2008
Monday Morning Pet Humor
January 28th, 2008. Published under General. No Comments.
(was from an email I got from a friend - too funny)
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - snout height.
Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years –canine or feline attendance is not mandatory
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat’s butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets
1. They live here. You don’t.
2. If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That’s why they call it “fur”niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it’s an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn’t speak clearly.
Remember - dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don’t ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Usually come when called
5. Never drive your car
6. Don’t hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don’t smoke or drink
8. Don’t worry about having to buy the latest fashions
9. Don’t wear your clothes
10. Don’t need a gazillion dollars for college, and
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children
I’m Almost Famous!
January 22nd, 2008. Published under General. 2 Comments.
As many of you know, I also post over at Pownce on a regular basis. Today is the day that Pownce came out of private beta and now is open to the public for the public beta. It’s been getting slammed with traffic all day, so it’s been hard to get on most of the day.
Naturally, there’s a lot of activity out there in the tech news blogs about the launch. What struck me was today’s TechCrunch article about the launch. Go to the story and tell me if you see anything familiar!
Yeah!
It’s me!
Somehow, I was deemed to be a “featured user” on Pownce due to my proclivity of posting and for my “Question of the Day” that I started doing months ago - and I somehow got in with the right group of friends too.
So yeah…I’m famous!
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Tim and I were supposed to go to Jennifer’s tonight for foods and cupcakes for my birthday - but this sinus infection I have and the antibiotics to treat said sinus infection are making me really lethargic. Happy Birthday, eh?
Hope you all are well!
Damned If I Do, Damned If I Don’t
January 9th, 2008. Published under General. No Comments.
What a dilemma.
With the unseasonably warm temperatures this January, while being awesome, has wreaked havoc upon my sinus passages. So I’ve been sneezing a lot lately (I’ve determined that it wasn’t a cold) and couldn’t breathe through my nose.
Today, being sick of the un-breathing nose-wise and the sneezing, I took my Tylenol Allergy Sinus Severe and hoped for the best. So now, rather than being awake and non-nose breathing, I’m fuzzy and disjointed and able to breathe fine. However, this is bad for my productivity. Crap.
Now, I’m waiting for the “head feels like a balloon hovering a foot over my head” feeling to go away so I can get some stuff done around here. Productivity wins over the un-breathing of the nose.
Hope your day is better than mine!
*Sniff*
January 7th, 2008. Published under General. No Comments.
I’ve had this low-grade cold thing hanging onto me for about 5 days now. Itchy eyes, sneezing and just general tiredness all around. Strangely enough, it hasn’t dissolved into a full-blown cold yet. Either my body is super-vigilant in fighting off all but the most persistent bugs or the illness itself is not that tough.
What I’d like the most is to sleep. I stayed up too late last night because Iron Chef America came on with the Mario Batali v. Jamie Oliver battle. Dammit if I don’t love both of those chefs.
Also, speaking of chefs - I love reading Anthony Bourdain’s stuff. Back when he wrote a scathing screed about the decline of the Food Network last February, I instantly fell in love with his assessment of Rachael Ray (”Rachael uses her strange and terrible powers to narcotize her public with her hypnotic mantra of Yummo and Evoo and Sammys. “You’re doing just fine. You don’t even have to chop an onion–you can buy it already chopped. Aspire to nothing…Just sit there. Have another Triscuit…Sleep….sleep….”) and his hilarious, if not eerily accurate, description of Sandra Lee (”Pure evil. This frightening Hell Spawn of Kathie Lee and Betty Crocker seems on a mission to kill her fans, one meal at a time.”). A snarker after my own heart.
He’s now blogging over at the Travel Channel and his most recent post talks about the Food Network replaying his very first food/travel show and how dreadful it was (the show, not the replaying of it). I caught an episode late one night, and I didn’t find it to be that bad.
Back to his post, I discovered that now, even Emeril Live! is off the Food Network. My only oasis of awesome left is Good Eats and now, the new Jamie Oliver series “Jamie at Home” that starts this weekend. But seriously, either Alton Brown has an iron-clad contract that allows him to state his terms or else he’s got some dirt on the top network execs because there’s no reason he should still be on the air in the midst of all the garbage still on the Food Network.
But, the shining brilliance of his post is the paranoia over the motives of re-airing this series. Brilliant writing.
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Hope you all have a great week!
Eating Habits
January 4th, 2008. Published under General. 1 Comment.
I’m on day 3 of the “Change My Eating Habits” routine and I’ve discovered a number of things about myself.
1. I’m a night eater. I can eat like a bird all day long, but for dinner I have to have something more substantial. I’m not sure if that’s due to the fact that I have more time or the fact that I work out between getting home from work and dinner.
2. Cutting out beer and wine is a lot harder than it looks. I’m an adult. I like coming home and relaxing on the couch (after working out, of course) with Tim, the Tivo and a glass of wine or a bottle of beer. Yes, I know they’re empty calories. Yes, I know I’m at a danger for munching on stuff that’s not so good for me when alcohol is involved. But, I enjoy it and considering it is my only vice should I even worry about it? Should I even bother cutting it out?
3. I can successfully graze throughout the work day. I’ve always been consistent with breakfast: a box of NutriGrain bars in my desk that I have with my one cup of coffee with French Vanilla creamer (I then switch to Green Tea). Every once in a while, I’ll get crazy and have a cup of yogurt. Lunch had been a bit more hit and miss. But now I’ve been really good about bringing in a frozen Lean Cuisine dinner and a fruit cup, or some cottage cheese or other fruit. I’m even bringing in snacks of almonds and dried apricots (all carefully portioned out) in those snack size ziploc bags. I feel almost full eating so much at work - but as far as a calorie count goes, it’s not bad. On the weekends….I have a hard time portioning out stuff.
4. What worked for me years ago to drop the pounds doesn’t work anymore. I used to be able to sustain myself on baby carrots and microwave popcorn. Now, I can’t just eat bland, boring and bland food anymore just to lose weight. I have to get more creative. It especially doesn’t help that I’m also older and genetics and metabolism is working against me.
But, I hope to be down to my goal weight by Summer - which is entirely doable if I stick with it.
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I have fallen in love with Caribou Coffee’s Jasmine tea - green tea infused with jasmine. So good.
New Year’s Goals 2008
January 2nd, 2008. Published under General. 3 Comments.
I don’t like the term “resolution” when doing the whole New Year’s goal setting thing. Sure, it’s a bit cliché to do such things at the beginning of the year, but what better time to start fresh than 1/1?
So, here are my goals for this year:
1. Speaking of clichés, here’s one for you: lose weight. Yeah, I know that everyone says that - but the past few months have found me enjoying food and drink way too fucking much and it has show up on my midsection, much to my chagrin. I’m not going to go all crazy vegetarian and no fat, I’m just going to eat less and move more (thank you Henry Rollins for that one!). Simple as that.
2. Get back into rock climbing. I took Tim to a climbing class for his birthday and he really enjoyed it, so this year for Christmas, I bought him a climbing harness set and we’re going to start going to Vertical Endeavors every Saturday afternoon after I’m done with my shift at Ye Olde Part Tyme Jobbe. Once Tim gets to the point where the rental shoes aren’t doing it for him anymore, I’ll pick up some shoes for him too. Will be fun.
3. Run a 10K. Yeah, I know that’s been on my list the past three years. In 2006, I broke my toe and couldn’t run for a couple of months. In 2007, I had those hip problems and had a very difficult time running even short distances. 2008 will be my year!
4. Pay off the remainder of my debt. I have a personal loan that will be paid off with my tax return (gotta love homeownership) and most of the remaining credit card debt is from my marriage - so hopefully that will resolve itself soon as well. I’m growing somewhat weary of carrying that one. The rest that would be left is car loan and house loan and that’s something I can deal with.
5. Redecorate our office. I have big plans for that room to maximize our storage capabilities (by installing a new closet organizer and creating a wall of bookshelves) - and getting the debt paid off will go far in socking away money to go crazy at Ikea.
6. Send out birthday cards to family and friends. I used to be really good about that, but I’ve been really bad about it these past 10 years, so I want that to change as well.
Hope you all had a happy and safe new year! Here’s to a great 2008!!
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