This weekend has been interesting to say the least.  There was the quote “May you live in interesting times.”  Well, it certainly seems that way.

On Saturday, I took Tim to the Trail of Terror.  I had gone 6 years ago and had a lot of fun.  Looking back, the weather was crappy that night so it wasn’t that busy.  This past Saturday was gorgeous and the Trail of Terror was more of a Field of Frenzy overrun with snotty teenagers and thug gangsta wannabes.  After paying $16 each, we had a ten ounce glass of Guiness for $4.50 each, sat around a fire and left after 45 minutes.  No rides.  No haunted house.  Nothing.  Just too much wank to handle and we got sick of it and went home.

We ended up going home and watching TV snuggled on the couch.

Sunday we went out to breakfast at Nat’s Eggs, then we went to Menards to pick up the new storm door and screen door that we’ll be installing (with the help of my brother) in two weeks.  They were on sale this weekend, so we picked them up now instead of later.

Now here’s where it gets “interesting”…

Later that afternoon, I got a call from my mom.  She called to let me know that my cousin was found dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound earlier in the day.  I was shocked.  He was only a couple of years older than me.   I don’t know of any problems he was having, but then I hadn’t seen him in a couple of years.  Growing up, we were all pretty close – but as you grow up, you stop having the extended family get-togethers and you drift apart, getting together every once in a while when my aunt decides that we need to get together or someone gets married.  Since there’s only two in my extended family who aren’t married yet, I hadn’t seen him in a while.  This summer, my aunt out in California was out visiting and my other aunt had a family reunion of sorts and I was surprised that my cousin wasn’t there when his 3 brothers were.  But, I didn’t think anything of it.  People get busy, or they have other conflicts.  I didn’t think there was anything wrong.

It turns out there was something very wrong.

I know what it feels like to be hopeless.  I know what a deep, dark depression feels like.  I know what it feels like when you think there’s no point to life.  But I got help for it.  I clawed and fought my way out of that pit of despair.  I discovered that nothing and nobody was worth losing myself over and that nobody was more important to me than myself.

I’m sad that my cousin had to go through that alone.  I’m sad that he couldn’t find the strength to pull himself out of whatever was holding him under.

The hardest part will be seeing his family and trying to give them condolences for their loss because what do you say?  What can you say?

So…not the best way to start off the week.