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Fucking hell.

May 31st, 2006. Published under General. No Comments.

(12:13am)

I’m taking Roxy into the vet again tomorrow morning - she’s been barfing way too much in the past few days. Just cleaned up barf-fest #3 for the day. No blood or anything (I’d be taking her to the emergency vet if that were the case) - but she totally empties her stomach every time.

She either has a severe hairball, or she’s eaten something that’s caused her intestines to get all wound up. I wish I could tell if she’s been able to go to the bathroom….but with a shared litter box, it’s hard to tell.

Poor kitten. Now I feel even worse for being such an asshole earlier today. I feel like crying.

RL: 31 May 2006

May 31st, 2006. Published under Uncategorized. No Comments.

Time: 32:34
Distance:3.103 mi

Notes: Went for the speed training tonight rather than the distance.

I’m in a mood - caution!

May 31st, 2006. Published under General. 2 Comments.

I’ve noticed that I have a very, very short temper lately.

Most noticably was me getting pissed off angry this morning at Rox for barfing on the couch sometime during the night. I seriously flipped out, yelled at her (swearing like a sailor) and then manhandled her to give her the Petromalt (for the hairballs) and her antibiotics for the cat acne.

Why in the hell am I getting so fucking angry now? And why did I get so angry at her? She’s just a little cat. I feel like such a heel now.

I suppose it could be attributed to a number/combination of factors - and if you don’t like what you see here, that’s too bad for you.

• Getting frustrated with the whole dating thing.
• My ex doing things that remind me of shit he did when we were married and it’s annoying as hell.
• Frustrated with my weight/health/fitness.
• Lonliness.

Yeah, I’m fucking lonely. Not lonely in the “I have no friends” sense, but I just feel alone. Working on all my house stuff this weekend really drove that point home. There’s things that you just need two people to do - and I fought through it and did it all by myself.

Don’t take this any other way than me getting all this off my chest.

I just want to be important to someone. Be that someone they think about all day, that they can’t wait to see me, hold me, kiss me. I’ve been utterly alone for over a year now - emotionally and physically - and I’m sick of it. It’s almost enough to make me wonder if there really is something wrong with me.

I hope I can chalk this up to not working out much while I was on vacation. But that doesn’t change how alone I feel when I close my eyes at night and when I wake up in the morning - that’s always been there. I hate that feeling. I don’t know if that’s a flaw in my personality or what - but starting today I’m going to try and not think that way - longing for what I’m missing most in my life and trying to be happy with what I have now.

Easier said than done, methinks.

* * * * *

Another of the “starting today” items, I’m really going to change my eating habits. I’m not “dieting”, or anything like that - I’m changing how and what I eat. I’m doing a food log to help keep me accountable for my progress. The 10k training also starts up tonight - my goal is to do 5 miles tonight, no matter how long it takes me.

There’s a 5k on Saturday that I’m running in too - the Gold Country Run at the UofM. Part of the “Running Club” at work - the firm pays for the registration for one selected race per month. Pretty sweet, I must say.

* * * * *

Nothing like 83 emails in one’s inbox to say “welcome back” from vacation. Can I go home now?

Picture Book

May 30th, 2006. Published under General. 3 Comments.

I really should be painting my stairway - but instead I made a rhubarb cake.

I also discovered that I cannot wear sterling silver and sweat at the same time.

I was wearing my sterling silver necklace at my nephew’s graduation on Sunday when it was 96 degrees outside and I was running food and lemonade from the kitchen to the garage where the party was.

By the end of the day, rash city!

Fun fun fun!

* * * * *

This picture of Pixel makes me laugh…

She was whining that I wasn’t in bed yet last night around 11:30pm. So pathetic - but so cute!

Paranoid Android

May 28th, 2006. Published under General. No Comments.

Around 11pm last night, I was kept awake with this random thought:

I hadn’t really been paying attention when I had left that morning, so I wasn’t sure. Did I shut it? Was it open right now and hoodlums were ransacking my garage of its contents? Did they find my hidden house key and are stealing all my furniture and killing my cats?

Total, paranoid thoughts.

But I couldn’t get that nagging thought out of my head. Couldn’t sleep! I nearly called a friend to go look and see if it was shut or not!

The reason I was as paranoid as I was is because I had done it before: was away from the house for a period of time and left the garage door wide fucking open. It was one of the Saturdays I had to go into work - I left around 8:30am and got home around 2pm. The door was open the whole fucking time. Nothing was missing, but still.

Sofa King. We Todd Ed.

(say it out loud fast, if you’ve never seen ATHF)

I got home tonight and it had indeed been shut the whole time.

Gah!

* * * * *

My nephew’s graduation was good - hot as hell - but good. Being the good auntie that I am, I helped keep the food and beverage supply filled up out in the garage where the party was. My ulterior motive was to stay inside where the a/c was running. Heh.

Also, my nephew’s sperm donor (can you tell my opinion of the guy?) was there with his new wife (he’s had a few since my sister) - but they had the cutest little brown/black 8-week old Cocker Spaniel puppy in the entire universe. I was so enamored with the cuteness, I neglected to take pictures of her.

SO CUTE!

Tomorrow: I’m back to painting the rest of the walls and starting the trim. I really want to get out and enjoy the sunshine, but that won’t do.

* * * * *

Had a second date with D on Friday night - and it didn’t go anywhere. I now know what my friend Mary has been lamenting about with guys: they don’t make any fucking moves! Barely touched me, sure as hell didn’t kiss me at the end of the night - just a hug. But he still wants to see me this week! WTF?!?

Can’t a guy just make a move on a girl for once? Seriously!

Crisis Averted!

May 25th, 2006. Published under General. No Comments.

a.k.a. “Reason #1,204,556 why I love my family.”

I fixed my A/C drain!

All it took was a frantic call to Mom to vent, then a call to my sister Laura to find out WTF was going on.

I nearly called my other sister Marion - but I figured if push came to shove with the fucking thing, Laura would be more able to run up to fix it since Marion’s son graduates high school this weekend.

(Both of my sisters work as repair-people in the HVAC field - they know how to fix things!)

But, Laura talked me though it and told me what needed to be replaced and where to run the hose for drainage (to the pipe that the washer drains into - genius!). I do need to shorten the hose a bit, but for now, the A/C is back on!

I have half the cupboard doors on and I’m nearly done with the painting of the walls - just a few touchups to do! Later, after a well-deserved shower, I’m going to take down the CD/DVD towers and unload the 9-cube (since I’ll be painting that later) and get everything set up for painting tomorrow!

Things are going much better now than earlier. Other than the battery pack on my cordless drill dying on me halfway through the cabinet re-hanging (have to drill new holes in the backs of the cabinets for the new hardware I bought). I should look into getting a second charge pack.

Anyway, if I’m not exhausted by then, I may still go see the midnight showing of X-Men 3. Maybe.

WHY?

May 25th, 2006. Published under General. No Comments.

Why is it that every home improvement project I tackle, there has to be SOMETHING that goes wrong?

Granted, this one isn’t my fault, and had nothing to do with the project.

I work with my iPod playing. I’m painting, minding my own business when I step into a puddle of COLD water. I’m nowhere near the sink, actually - I’m by the HVAC. I open the door and there’s a steady stream of water coming out of a random pipe all over my floor. My furnace filter is now all wet, and I discover that the fucking MORON who installed the new furnace before I took possession of the house CUT THE HOSE FOR THE A/C and just left it dangling off into nowhere. There’s no drain anywhere in there for the water to go down and now since the asshole CUT the hose instead of, oh I don’t know, remove and replace it - I had to turn off the A/C.

So now instead of painting, I’m having to deal with this bullshit. Now, I won’t be able to go play poker nor will I be able to go to the midnight showing of the X-Men 3 movie because I’ll be damned if I’m going to sweat my ass off sleeping tonight.

Or I should say sweat my ass off NOT sleeping tonight as I can’t sleep for shit when I’m too warm.

Naturally, any HVAC company I call to come out to fix it won’t come out until the week after the 4th of July because it’s a fucking HOSE. They’re not going to bust their ass to get here to fix something that’ll take 15-20 minutes for them to do. I don’t even know where the other end of the hose even goes to!

So. Pissed. Off.

I was going to have a nice, relaxing weekend down with my family this weekend, now I’m not sure if I’ll have time to go down on Saturday now! I was going to have the whole kitchen done today and get the living room and most of the hallway (need a friend to help me with the stairway) done tomorrow then finish up doing the first coat of the trim (and hopefully second) by end of day Friday.

I had Saturday as my cushion - use the morning to finish up any of the trim work and still go down to Mankato by mid afternoon.

Now I’m so upset and annoyed I either want to scream or cry. Time for a break to get some lunch.

*sigh*

If it’s not one thing, it’s another.

The search for cheap!

May 25th, 2006. Published under General. 2 Comments.

Back at my old apartment, there was tons of lounge chairs for use by the people who lived there. On the weekend (or when I was on vacation), I loved going down there with a bottle of water, a book or my iPod and just sit outside and enjoy the nice weather.

Well, since I moved, I really couldn’t take one of those lounge chairs with me. So I’ve been on the search for a cheap lounge chair of my very own. “Cheap” is less than $20.

I’ve been to nearly every damn store around here looking for that cheap tri-fold lounge chair. Target didn’t have it, none of the home improvement places had it either. Oh they had lounge chairs, but out of all the places I went to, the cheapest one was, and I’m not kidding, $52.99. Um…no.

I was left with only one other option. The option that rapes my soul.

Wal-Mart.

Yes, I went to Wal-Mart. I still feel dirty about going there, but I knew that they would have the cheap lounge chair that I was looking for. And they did; $9.99 for a pink PVC vinyl lawn chair. I even spent $5 on a huge beach towel to put over it.

Thankfully, with it being a Wednesday morning, there wasn’t anybody there shopping. Wal-Mart’s normal clientele are people I do not want to be around for any length of time.

So yeah, I bought something from the Evil Empire - but I saved over $40!

I feel so dirty.

* * * * *

The painting project is going well. Painting the kitchen cabinets took a bit longer than I had anticipated. I still need to put the new hardware on and hang them back up so I can paint the edges of the doors. I’ll be posting the pictures to my Flickr account once I’m done.

Language

May 22nd, 2006. Published under General. 1 Comment.

I have yet resisted turning on my air conditioning this year. So when I’m in my computer room, I sit with the windows open (and a cat sitting on the desk looking out the window). My neighbors in the next building have their windows open all the time too.

Last night I was sitting there on my computer and I could hear a conversation my black neighbor lady was having. She was speaking English - but I couldn’t understand a word she was saying.

I’m not sure what to call that particular dialect - urban? I don’t know…but I sure couldn’t understand it.

* * * * *

Kickboxing tonight! They’ve moved to a new location which is now closer to me! Woot! Can’t wait!

RL: 21 May 2006

May 21st, 2006. Published under General. No Comments.

Time: 34:38
Distance: 3.42 miles

Notes: Ran outside. Used PodRunner.com’s “Emotion In Motion (155bpm)” mix. Right knee/shin was feeling a bit wonky - hope there’s nothing going on there. I think I’ll need to buy new running shoes in the next few weeks - perhaps I’ve run these out and they’re just not doing it anymore.