Welcome to Monday morning and my whole list of miscellany.

First off, the Oscars were ok this year. I still want to have Jon Stewarts babies – or at least attempt to. (Practice, practice, practice!) It sucks that he couldn’t be his normal, wonderfully snarky self – because we all know that most of Hollywood is so full of itself that it can’t take the snark – but he did have his moments.

A bullet list commentary, in no particular order:

• I cannot believe a rap song – with “pimp” in the title – won best song over Dolly Parton. I thought Queen Latifah was going to shit and/or drop the F-bomb over it. Home girl, represent!
• Salma Hayek, while gorgeous, was wearing a dress that was 99.9% fabulous. That other 0.1% was the unfortunate strap-thing that was smashing the hell out of her left breast. Made her look quite lopsided.
• I watch Lauren Bacall’s stumbling through her speech and I’ve read about people saying how sad it was that she’s getting so old. My opinion? I think she didn’t want to wear her glasses and she thought she knew the speech well enough to not rely on the teleprompter. You could tell she was trying to paraphrase what she was supposed to be talking about when she got off track – because her vanity wouldn’t allow her to wear glasses on the Oscars. Just my opinion.
• I love Jennifer “I do my own stunts” Garner. Love her, love her, love her!
• Why, oh why, did Felicity Huffman not win for Best Actress?! Seriously.
• Phillip Seymour Hoffman won an Oscar in a role that took, if I recall correctly, 30-some days to film. The man stayed in character for the whole time they were filming. That’s dedication. Joaquin Phoenix looked pissed off that he won, however, or else he was just pissed off the whole evening. Seriously.
• I love that Crash won Best Picture – being the “dark horse” and all. Brilliant.
• Best acceptance speech: George Clooney for Best Supporting Actor. You can go read about his eloquent, thoughtful speech elsewhere – the two parts I loved was when he said “well, I guess I’m not winning for Best Director now” and when he said how winning an Oscar changes how people refer to you – “Oscar winner George Clooney, sexiest man alive 1997, Batman, died today in a freak accident.” So adorable. He’s so much better than Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise.
• Watching the Oscars with Tivo is awesome. Hit pause when it starts, go do stuff, come back in 25-30 minutes and start watching, fast forwarding through the commercials and boring acceptance speeches until you catch up, pause, rinse, repeat. Perfect.

* * * * *

I’m still a stress nugget today. I’m taking tomorrow off work to finish up these things before they kill me. Had to deal with my supervisor giving me a lecture of how I should give them more notice if I’m taking a personal day. I controlled my snark enough to not scream at her, but I still said “well, I really should have taken today off, but I figured it would be more important to be here today rather than tomorrow. And believe me, I would rather be at work than having to deal with this bullshit.”

I didn’t actually say “bullshit” – but I was thinking it quite loudly.

Grarr.