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RL: 28 February 2006

February 28th, 2006. Published under Uncategorized. No Comments.

Time: 28:00
Distance: 2.438 mi
Calories: 410.2

Notes: Argh. Good. Shower.

Hell Yes.

February 28th, 2006. Published under General. 2 Comments.

I’m getting so wound up trying to figure out what to paint my living room / kitchen / stairway / upstairs hallway.

Well, I want to paint all of those areas the same color, because they all have a common ceiling. Or at least paint them in some sort of coordinating colors. If I do the two color route, the kitchen will be the darker of the two. The cabinets will be repainted to something not white. I’m half tempted to slap in a new laminate countertop when I do that too so I can live with the way my kitchen is before I do the full remodel a few years down the road (new cabinets, new flooring, etc.). I should check into what that would cost.

Anyway, I have too many fucking paint chips and I need to just go pick out something, get a small can of it and paint a damn wall to see how I like it. I think that’ll be the only way to do it because I can’t decide whether to go bold with the color, or to go more neutral. Greens or Rusts? I can’t figure it out!!

*sigh*

In other news, I really, REALLY need to start running again. I’m really starting to notice that I need to work out again - hard. So tonight, I’m restarting the Running Log and getting my ass into shape for the spring, summer and bikini season. Hell yes.

I hate Mondays.

February 27th, 2006. Published under General. 2 Comments.

“Here’s the thing. Once you swallow your pride; let go of the attitude; stop over-thinking things; the possibilities are endless… the headaches stop.”

I read that in a friend’s journal today. I love that statement - because it is so true.

* * * * *

I need to expand on the whole taxes thing from yesterday - not because I owe anyone an explanation or because I have to change anyone’s opinions - because I want to.

Last year, through this whole personal/marriage mess we also had a huge mess with our taxes. I had to remind, and remind, and remind, and hound, and pester, and remind again that I needed my ex’s business expense information. I had everything done and computed with our taxes by the first week of February.

We didn’t file until May.

Because he procrastinated, and the day the taxes were due, we got into a fight over it (because they still weren’t done), I called him an asshole and he ended up walking out on me that night.

Since we filed late, there was a late payment penalty (since we owed). My ex assured me that he would take care of getting it paid off. In August, I think, I got a collection letter from the IRS stating that if the balance remaining was not paid off in 10 days, that we would be sent to a collection agency. Even though I paid my part and he promised me that he would take care of the rest. Apparently that wasn’t the case. He did end up paying it off before the deadline, but that made me so furious, I cannot even replicate nor explain it.

Fast forward to this year. Filing jointly will save us some money. However, there’s quite a substantial tax bill that needs to be paid, and it’s approximately 75% his burden. I have been saving up money and planning on paying my full amount off when the taxes are filed. He told me that he can’t and would need to look at a payment plan.

With the way things went last year, I am so not comfortable with that. Not even slightly. I tried to talk to him yesterday about it and when that didn’t happen, I came to the decision that even though it’s going to cost me more, I would rather not deal with the hassle again. Ever again.

I’m not sure if he understands, but I know he reads this, so I suppose he will after this. It’s not a question of malice or “hey buddy, I want you to suffer!” - I’m thinking of myself and how I don’t want to put myself in a situation where I have to remind and remind and remind and remind and be so fucking worried that it won’t get paid and remind some more. I don’t need, nor want, the aggrivation, the stress and everything else that goes along with it.

Honestly, filing jointly is doing him a much bigger favor than it is for me. However, the person that comes first now is me - and not him. If that comes across being selfish or being an asshole - well then I am. I don’t have to think of anyone else BUT myself. I’ve lived my life too long worrying about other people’s feelings and giving in to make things easier for other people. When does it come back to me? Where do my needs fit into all this? Rarely, if at all.

It’s not set in stone yet, because there’s more to figure out - but I am adamant about this.

A little bit of this, a little bit of that.

February 26th, 2006. Published under General. 2 Comments.

Well, as it turns out, I’m going to be filing my taxes separately from my ex-husband. Long story short, it’s just going to be easier that way.

This week is bound to be busy.

Monday: Go to Home Depot for drywall mud, mud knife and wood putty. I need to smooth out the walls quite a bit in the bathroom before I start painting. Also get white paint chip samples. I need to try and figure out the white color of the ceiling in order to use the same color of white throughout the house - I need it for the trim in the bathroom.

Tuesday: Continue the wall smoothing project.

Wednesday: Go to Home Depot for wall paint and kitchen faucet. Install faucet.

Thursday: Paint as much of the bathroom as possible. Pull up vinyl flooring.

Friday: My sister Laura gets here! After figuring out what we need for the shower, go to Home Depot (I should get a job there) for trim paint, shower fixtures, vanity lighting and vinyl flooring. We’re going to take out the vanity and light fixture, smooth out the walls behind each, paint and put the new light up. If we don’t get done by the time Geek Night begins, then we’ll continue in the morning.

Saturday: Finish the bathroom!

Somewhere in there I probably should clean out my garage - or at least corrall the cardboard boxes enough so I can put them out next Tuesday for recycling day.

Mom and Dad came up for a visit, which was nice. I really enjoy seeing my family - they always make me feel better.

Are those caterpillars on your face?

February 24th, 2006. Published under General. 3 Comments.

I find it amusing that the same day I was obsessing over my eyebrows, my friend Diane sends me this email with quotes from George Carlin. One of the quotes was as follows:

“Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here’s how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we’re done.”

Made me chuckle.

I still probably do it - once I get this month’s bills taken care of. Bills first, fun second.

Next weekend, my sister Laura is coming up and we’re going to tackle the bathroom remodel. Rip out the old vanity, plaster, paint, new vinyl flooring, new vanity, new faucets. Very exciting. I’m also going to replace the faucet in the kitchen - because I think the previous owner put in one of those $15 faucets that you can pick up at Home Depot. Seriously, I’m afraid I’m going to crush it whenever I use it.

When I did my mail forwarding with the post office, I did it online and I signed up to get a coupon from Home Depot for 10% off a purchase of $2500 or less. So, I’m going to use it to buy a new kitchen faucet, paint and other supplies for the remodel. If I work hard, I can get all my paint for the house and I’ll have a paintgasm at the BlogKitten pad. Heh.

I’m sure I’ll take photos of the remodel next weekend. I have awesome sisters.

How to date a Geek Girl - and eyebrows.

February 23rd, 2006. Published under General. 5 Comments.

I’ve been watching the show #1 Single on VH1. It’s about Lisa Loeb and her dating experiences.

She had two back-to-back serious relationships and hasn’t dated in over 12 years.

Somehow, I can relate.

After watching the latest episode last night, I have this burning desire to have my eyebrows waxed. I’ve never had my eyebrows waxed in my entire life, but goddammit, Lisa Loeb has the most amazing eyebrows.

Actually, she’s just damn cute. Dammit!

So, in my quest to make myself, well, desireable to all the hotties out there in Dating Land, I want to get my own set of amazing eyebrows. Granted, if amazing eyebrows is all it takes to land a hottie, then that’s pretty damn shallow. But I like being cute, and every little bit helps. So if it makes me feel better, then that will show through. Or something.

I’m watching her show in hopes of getting an education on how to date. I really don’t know how to date. Yeah, I know I’ve been married twice and divorced twice. Not the best track record and I don’t know if that constitues “dating”. In the past - before therapy and anti-depressants - I would fall, and fall hard, for whomever I was interested in. The classic “moving too fast” problem. Falling head-over-heels for someone who somewhat liked me, basically. Call it low self-esteem, call it fear - but I used to crash hard for people. Combine that with being oblivious to other people being interested in me, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.

Now that I’ve had therapy and got my head straightened out - in addition to achieving goals that I never thought I could do on my own (running, buying a home, etc.) - I’ve finally realized I’m worth something. I know it sounds silly, but it’s true. Now, if I’m not truly interested, I’m not going to put up with shit. If they don’t think I’m awesome, then I’m not going to sweat it because it’s their loss.

For the first time in my life, I don’t really need anyone. Not in an emotional sense. I don’t need anyone to prop me up to make me feel important. I don’t need to be in a relationship to validate that I’m worthwhile. I don’t need anyone to financially support me so I can realize my dreams. Finally, I’m happy with myself and I’m confident in my own abilities.

I’m excited. Excited about the future and what it has in store for me.

Now all I need is new eyebrows.

Olympic Spirit?

February 20th, 2006. Published under General. 4 Comments.

I find it highly amusing the media is making such a big deal out of Lindsay Jacobellis’ screw-up at the Olympics.

If you’ve been living under a rock, Lindsay had a lock for the gold medal in the Snoboard cross thing, and did a bit of “hot-dogging” on the last jump, wiped out and ended up winning the silver instead.

I thoroughly enjoyed them interviewing her afterwards - they kept trying to get some sort of emotional, tear-ridden reaction out of her. She just shrugged and said “the good news out of that was everyone didn’t pass me,” she said. “Only one person passed me, so I got the silver.”

I LOVED IT!

There’s more whining and crying in the media over how the men’s ski team has done so poorly, how the men’s and women’s hockey teams - whom the media touts as unbeatable - both got beat and won’t win gold. Whining that the US men’s skater - the gay elf boy - whathisname - didn’t win gold. So memorable, that I don’t even remember his name.

Well, that’s because I’m all eyes for Yevgney Plushenko - rraarroowwllll. He’s a blonde haired, blue eyed Adrien Brody! Seriously, go check it out.

Ok, whathisname is Johnny Weir. I’m sorry, but that guy is a nervous breakdown waiting to happen.

I’ve gotten off track.

I don’t understand the arrogance of the media in this country. When faced with the reality that the US isn’t going to win every damn gold medal in every damn event they’re entered in - it’s “shocking” and “heartbreaking” and “unbeliveable”! Johnny Weir couldn’t take the pressure. Lindsay Jacobellis was in the moment and unfortunately didn’t win gold. It didn’t seem to bother her one bit. The media is crying because Bode Miller didn’t win any gold. Boo hoo.

Now tomorrow, the media has been building up ALL DAMN WEEK about the “controversial” men’s speedskating 1500m final with Chad Hedrick and Shani Davis. I’m sick to death of hearing about it. Davis is a baby and Hedrick is a whiner. Nuff said. I hope neither one of them wins gold. Would serve them right AND the media for hyping it up so damn much. Joey Cheek is my favorite anyway.

I must say that Apolo Ohno impresses the hell out of me. He’s had a rough Olympics himself, but he’s taking it with grace and humility. He was more than happy to win bronze. That’s how it should be. And he’s cute. Maybe it’s just me, but I think he’s had dental work done since the last Olympics, because those pearly whites are sparkling this year.

Can this post get any more disjointed? Possibly. But I’m going to end this pseudo-rant here.

RL: 17 February 2006

February 16th, 2006. Published under Uncategorized. 2 Comments.

Time: 40:00
Distance: 3.31 miles

Notes: First night back after a much too long hiatus. I pushed the hell out of myself. My new treadmill has a calorie tracker. Tonight: 563.6 calories burned. I think I may add that to the listing in the future.

It’s 10k training time!

Interesting.

February 15th, 2006. Published under General. 5 Comments.

I will soon be part of an ACLU case.

Why?

Minnesota has a program called “Stop on Red” - where if you run a red light (or yellow in my case) a camera takes a photo of your car and license plate.

I seemed to have ran a red light on the day I moved. More specifically, just after the U-haul trailer was dropped off.

Now I’m not part of the case (which can be read about here) because I’m staunchly denying I ran the red. I probably did. However, the light was yellow when I entered the intersection. If it were already red, I would stop. That’s just how I am.

But I agree with the ACLU’s motion about the ordinance, so I’m going to request that my “case” be put on the special arrainment calendar until after the May 5 court date. That way, if it’s overturned, the violation is invalid. If not, I guess I’m screwed.

I just think that if someone is going to be accused of doing something wrong, that someone in law enforcement should be the one providing the proof of the violation, rather than some camera. I know no system is perfect, but I’m going to wait and see anyway.

* * * * *

The reason I’ve not done the moving recap as of yet is…well…because there’s too many negative things that happened that day and it stressed me the fuck out. I just want to forget the whole thing. Go to my Flickr page to see the moving photos if you’re curious, but if you’re looking for me to write a recap, it’ll be filled with nothing but bile and venom. You don’t want that - nor do I.

Good times.

I’m not that messy!

February 15th, 2006. Published under General. 1 Comment.

I had a meeting with my supervisor today.

In her neverending effort to perfect anal-retentiveness, her new thing is having monthly update meetings with us. A half-hour each month that, in my opinion, doesn’t need to happen unless there is a problem.

She has a problem with me.

My desk isn’t “neat” enough.

I have a system. It works for me. It involves paper.

I’ve tried the “to-do list”, I’ve tried the “folder organization” - and the only thing that works for me are my piles of paper.

Each item that I need to do is on a piece of paper - they’re organized in order of importance. Once that item is done, I throw the paper away. Simple.

But my supervisor sees the paper on my desk and always inquires as to the manageability of my workload and is concerned with my organization. Even though nobody complains about it, it is enough for her to mention.

Why? I’m stumped.

Anyway, I think I convinced her today that my system is what works for me and that making lists is a waste of time for me and putting things in folders is a HUGE mistake. I compared to putting things in folders like me with putting veggies in the crisper drawer in my refrigerator: Once it goes in, I never look at it again. The “out of sight, out of mind” concept. If it’s neat and tidy and everything is filed away - then I don’t have anything to do in my mind. The “clutter” and the “mess” helps keep me working on projects and getting shit done.

I am not, nor will I ever be, anal-retentive and neat when it comes to my desk. But I can guarantee you I know where everything is on it.

So there! :-)

* * * * *

This whole Johari/Nohari window thing is bunk. I was hoping for feedback - both positive and negative - from people I hoped to recognize. I don’t care that you think I’m needy or cynical - I know I’m needy and cynical and I’m working on not being so needy and cynical.

But what I was hoping for in wanting people to put their real names (or at the least, their online moniker) in there was for me to see where the perceptions are coming from. I wanted to know whether or not I’m being those things in real life, from those who know me in person, or from my online persona, from those of you who read these entries here. I wanted to know.

Unfortunately, the feedback was from single letter, number or symbol “people”. So my whole experiment with this didn’t quite pan out as I had hoped, which is unfortunate. I wanted to use this item, as insignificant and banal as it is, as a way to improve myself - to improve on the things I don’t like about myself in a positive way and to focus on the good things I do have.

It’s weird, but I’m weird too.

It’s all about being happy and learning to embrace life.