There’s a great Eddie Izzard routine called “Cake or Death”:
[Y]ou know, ’cause, “Cake or death?” That’s a pretty easy question. Everybody – anyone could answer that.
“Cake or death?”
“Uhh, cake please.”
“Very well! Give him cake!”
“Oh, thanks very much. It’s very nice!”
“You! Cake or death?”
“Uh, cake for me, too, please!”
“Very well! Give him cake, too! We’re gonna run out of cake at this rate. You! Cake or death?”
“Uh, death, please. No, cake! Cake! Cake, sorry. Sorry…”
“You said death first, ah-ha, ah-ha, death first!”
“Well I meant cake!”
“Oh, all right. You’re lucky I’m Church of England! Cake or death?”
“Uh, cake please.”
“Well, we’re out of cake! We only had three bits and we didn’t expect such a rush! So what’ll it be?”
“What, so my choice is ‘or death?’ Well, then I’ll have the chicken, please.”
Well, last night I downloaded TurboTax and decided to get an idea of what my taxes will be this year. Since Dan and I were still technically married on December 31st, we still have to file our 2005 taxes as married.
I thought it would be better to file as “married filing separately” since we hadn’t been living in the same household for over half of the year.
Boy was I wrong.
Just with my income, I would have to pay in nearly $1,300 for Federal taxes. THIRTEEN HUNDRED DOLLARS! No fucking way.
So, in the interest of saving money, I asked Dan if we can file as just “married” – I’ll do all the work and if (for some unknown reason) we get a refund, I’ll file them right away, if we have to pay in, we’ll wait until April to file.
It’s like that routine above: “Cake or Taxes?”
Uh, cake please!
January 25, 2006 at 10:04 am
I know the feeling. The wifey and I got killed on taxes last year and changed our deductions for this year.
Saved us about $2700.
January 25, 2006 at 10:34 am
Check the “single” criteria. Sometimes if you have been separated long enough, you can file as single even if you are still legally married.
January 25, 2006 at 1:49 pm
Try to talk to a tax person, even if it’s just H&R Block before you try to file “single,” then change your witholding on your W4 at work back to “single” if you haven’t already. Dave and I are still married, but are witholding at single so we don’t get stuck with such a huge amount owed. You should do really well next year though with your whole homeowner thing.
January 25, 2006 at 2:00 pm
Thanks, Angie!
Well, considering I work with nothing but accountant-type people, I should be able to round up a tax person somewhere!
January 26, 2006 at 10:22 am
And yet, haven’t we been getting tax cuts for the past five years?????? Hm, since those cuts are “for the middle class” I guess that means we’re all wealthy SOBs! Good to know.