Archive for October, 2005
Happy Halloween!
October 31st, 2005. Published under General. 2 Comments.
I would have to say Halloween is my second favorite holiday after Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving is #1 in my holiday world because of the food, being with family and having a minimum of a 4 day weekend. I may take the Wednesday off before Thanksgiving to be a bum and play video games. I could care less about shopping the day after. Xmas is way too overcommercialized.
Halloween is a holiday for your friends. Thanksgiving is all about family.
Halloween is all about candy. Thanksgiving is all about turkey and mashed potatoes and the pie…*drool*….and the sleepiness that follows.
Halloween is all about getting dressed up in costume and making an ass out of yourself. Thanksgiving is drinking too much wine and playing drunken Pictionary Charades (you act out the card instead of draw) with your brothers and sisters and nearly pissing your pants in laughter.
Halloween is all about being a kid again. Thanksgiving is about embracing the adult in you. There’s no greater accomplishment in an adult’s life than a perfectly cooked turkey.
But my love for Thanksgiving can wait for another post.
Today, I’m dressed up as the Devil. I’ve had co-workers tell me that my choice was very appropriate for me. I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean. I hope it’s a compliment.
I bought a bunch of sale candy at Target, put a bunch out for my co-workers and hoarded the good stuff for myself. I’m such a naughty Devil.
As far as your trick-or-treating bag goes, what is the Ultimate Treat that you could get in your bag this year? My Ultimate Treat would be the Mounds Bar. Oh yeah.
New Slang.
October 25th, 2005. Published under General. 1 Comment.
There’s many items that I just die laughing at and want to use in regular conversation.
Many of the recent items of funny that I have been picking up have been from podcasts. Podcasts that I’m am the sole listener in my social circle, most likely. Well, make that “highly likely”.
Why?
Because I notice that I’m interjecting these funny things from podcasts into conversation, and the other person has no earthly idea what I’m talking about.
…and I just lost the game.
See? You probably have no idea what that means. And unless you listen to the Nobody Likes Onions podcast, you probably won’t. They also have another one that I’ve been itching to use: “banned from the show”. One could say “banned from the desk” or “banned from the blog”. Cracks me the hell up.
Also, due to the Diggnation podcast, I find myself saying “DONE” quite a lot. The context: someone says something about how “we should do” something, and the other says - instead of “sure!’ or “sounds good!” - “DONE!” Diggnation can also take the blame for me saying “Dude!” a lot more too. Those wacky So-Cals.
So what do I do about it?
I just keep using the phrases and come across as an idiot in normal conversation.
…
I just lost the game again. Dammit!
Titty Gozangas?
October 18th, 2005. Published under General. No Comments.
Is there anything more lame than internet porn?
Speaking as a woman, one would venture to say that I exhibit a scant smidgen of bias. However, since I don’t mind porn - you would be wrong. I could be venturing into “too much information” for the faint of heart - but don’t worry. I’m not going there.
I was going to say something insightful and heartfelt about the subject, but I decided I wasn’t going to go there either. I’m not going to let shit that bothers me drag me (or you) down.
I’ll let you decipher that in your own fashion.
I’m still trying to figure out the whole podcasting thing. It would be nice if I were one of those “open to the world” types, then I would have no end of all the shit I could use for public glory. Sadly, I am not. So I guess I’ll go to bed alone with just my thoughts to keep me warm.
And to all a good night.
The grind.
October 17th, 2005. Published under General. No Comments.
I’m updating my resume. Giving it a bit of a rewrite too.
Why? I think I’m in the wrong field with what I do.
I think.
I’m not sure. There’s days where I’m overwhelmed with what is expected of me, there’s other days where I do an exceptional job (because the planets were aligned right or I had the right balance of sleep, coffee and breakfast that particular day) and once that happens, it’s “expected”.
The other reason I’m starting to consider shopping around is because I need more money.
If I were to be alone, there’s no way in fucking hell I would be able to buy anything. Making what I do now, with very little debt to speak of, I “qualify” for a home loan in the $72,000-75,000 range.
Where in the hell can you buy ANYTHING in the Cities for that price? Crack houses at Chicago and Lake go for at least $150,000!
So yeah, with the enviroment at work where my best doesn’t seem to be enough. I guess that’s a side effect working at a business where overachiever, anal retentive and workaholic are all key hiring points for the core executive employees. (I’m the assistant for these employees - right now I have 10 of them. TEN.)
There’s a company in town that I’ve been wanting to work at for YEARS. Before I moved up here, I wanted to go work for them. They are growing, and with my skill set, I think that I would be a good fit in there. However, I have a somewhat erratic employment history and with the “functional resume” gaining acceptance, it would be a good fit for my skill set.
It’s not that I don’t like my job or the company I work for - I’m just not sure if it is going to be right for me long-term. It’s not like there’s an opening at this other company that would be filled. I’m just putting the feelers out. Nothing wrong with that.
At the same time, I’m contemplating cutting my hair off. Not super-short, but shorter than shoulder length - a length that I have not explored since the 7th grade. That was almost 20 years ago.
Egad, I’m old!
I hope to hell I’m not having a mid-life crisis. That’s all I fucking need right now.
Sometimes I know, sometimes I rise, sometimes I fall, sometimes I don’t
October 14th, 2005. Published under General. 2 Comments.
Is it any wonder why I keep to myself?
Sometimes, going out of my way to be with people is such a struggle, a challenge. Sometimes the perceived reward is outweighed by the hassle. Sometimes I think that I’m not worth the trouble. I certainly haven’t been any fun these past months.
Bah. I gotta stop stroking the wounded animal of my psyche. Who’s going to want to hang out with someone who’s a member of the Pity party? Nobody, that’s who.
Seconds turn into minutes.
Minutes turn into hours.
Hours turn into days.
Days turn into weeks.
Weeks turn into months.
Months turn into years.
Years go by with barely a blink. Time flies even when you’re NOT having fun. Every day is a blur. One day bleeds into the next. Most days, the day of the week on my birth control pill pack is the only way I can know what day it is. Oh, it’s Friday? Cool.
I wonder what day it’ll be tomorrow.
Lilac Wine
October 6th, 2005. Published under General. 1 Comment.
Had friends over last night for lasagna and fun.
We watched the beginning of the Wild game and heard the Governor of MN drop the F-bomb on live television. That was awesome.
Now it’s time to drop the fuck…puck!
Since I have the TiVo, we backed it up because we were all “did he just say ‘fuck’???”
Yes. Yes he did. Smooth one, dumb ass.
Yes, I don’t like Governor Pawlenty very much. In fact, I think he’s a weasel and a douche-bag.
All in all, we had a great night - albeit a short night - but fun nonetheless.
Today, it’s cold and miserable. One of those days that would be best spent at home, playing video games, reading and other goofing off favorites of mine. Cooking elaborate comfort food dishes. Wearing lounge pants and a sweatshirt. No bra. Make some jewelry. Work out. Make some hot chai tea and hold the couch down with a blanket and a couple of cats.
I could totally handle that right now.
Oh well, only 3 hours to go!
Rainy days and Mondays get me down.
October 5th, 2005. Published under General. No Comments.
I am in a foul mood today.
This could be attributed to a number of factors:
- The crappy, rainy weather.
- PMS.
- Shitty personal life.
- Bloating.
- Inability to communicate.
Whatever the case, I’m not feeling the love right now. Most people could take a flying fucking leap off the nearest skyscraper and play “dodge the sidewalk” and I wouldn’t give a shit on the outcome.
(hint: the sidewalk always wins)
Have an appointment with my therapist today. That should be a barrel of laughs. Grow and learn, I suppose.
I’m shifting my parad…parradg…er…stuff?
October 4th, 2005. Published under General. No Comments.
Found this funny site today:
Yeah, I know you can go there and read ALL of them (which I do encourage), but I had to put a few of my favorites up here:
Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
Blamestorming - A group discussion of why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
Generica - Fast food joints, strip malls, sub-divisions as in “we were so lost in Generica that I couldn’t remember what city it was”.
Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
Treeware - Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
Very funny. I do not want to live in Generica ever again. *shudder*
Monkey see, monkey do.
October 4th, 2005. Published under General. No Comments.
Monkeys have prehensile tails. It gives them an extra limb to grab things.
I’ve discovered that I too, have a prehensile limb.
My knees.
Seriously!
I discovered this morning that I use my knees for a multitude of tasks. Need that drawer closed? My knee will do the job. Need to hold open a door? Knee to the rescue!
It’s amazing how much I use my knees to do things. Especially closing drawers and lower cupboard doors.
I’m a physiological freak! Prehensile knees!
Admit it, you’re jealous.
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