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Fat Fat FAT!

July 27th, 2005. Published under General. No Comments.

There's something sickening about going into a store and having an X-Large t-shirt being too small.

Granted, this was in the Juinors department. But, for those of you who know me in person, I'm not that big! I'm not skin and bones, but I'm nowhere near huge!!

If it weren't for my broad shoulders, I would probably wear a medium in womens tops. 99% of the time I buy a large and I'm fine.

But an EXTRA LARGE? And having THAT be too small? Seriously.

And how am I supposed to feel good about my body when I can't even buy stuff I like because it's too fucking small?

I'M NOT HUGE, GODDAMMIT!

T-shirt LOVE!

July 25th, 2005. Published under General. No Comments.

Oh sweet GOD I want this t-shirt.

(”Girly” XL)

I also want the orange “Sorry.” shirt too.

DAMMIT! Why can't I be independently wealthy?

Words are not necessary.

July 25th, 2005. Published under General. No Comments.

What happened to "quality control", hrm?

July 25th, 2005. Published under General. No Comments.

Marshall Field's (formerly Dayton's…which half the people in Minneapolis STILL call the store, even though it's been many, many years since the name change.) has a food deli called Marketplace. They have tons of different food choices, and I eat there frequently.

Every morning they have a little stand of Krispy Kreme donuts, Starbucks coffee and breakfast-y items from Marketplace for sale on the 2nd floor skyway level.

I walk by this stand just about every day. Sometimes I buy a fruit and yogurt parfait for my own breakfast consumption.

The past 6 or so parfaits have had HORRIBLE strawberries in them. Mushy, flavorless and pretty much NASTY to eat. So I've been hesitantly tasting one, and throwing the rest of them out.
Today, I bought a parfait because I was STARVING. I do the strawberry test…and lo and behold, a GOOD strawberry!

Which, you think you could GET a good strawberry EVERY day this time of year because, oh, THEY'RE IN SEASON!?!

Anyway, I happily eat my parfait until I get to the last strawberry, about 1/2 way down the container.
I tried not to vomit.

Not only was this NOT a good strawberry, but it was ROTTEN. Oh it didn't look rotten…but it tasted like it was soaked in a mixture of Jack Daniels and gasoline.

I spit it out into my garbage and have been drinking water and coffee quite liberally since. I can STILL TASTE IT IN MY MOUTH AND I WANT TO DIE.

So, I'm not buying a parfait from Marketplace for a very long time.

Excuse me while I go puke.

My very first 5K race.

July 22nd, 2005. Published under General. No Comments.

The Aquatennial 5k. It was Wednesday evening. The race started at 7:30pm.

But it was a hot day. Hotter than I expected.

We all lined up at the starting line, I was about 3/4 of a block back from the start, but there were a lot more people behind me. Thousands of people signed up for the race, the announcer said.

The air horn signaling the start of the race blared.

I started to walk, then run as I neared the official start line.

When I crossed the start line, I started the timer on my watch. To pace myself.

I prepared as best I could. Running in the heat. Going the distance beforehand. Staying hydrated.
But nothing will prepare you for your first race. No amount of training or insight will prepare you for being surrounded by thousands of people. Thousands of people all running towards the same goal.

Some run slow.

Some run fast.

Some don't run at all.

But they all have their eyes on the end. The goal. The finish line.

I felt good. I wasn't getting passed by people – in fact, I was passing some people myself. I can do this!

Hit the first water station. Since I was carrying my water on my back (CamelBak), I took the glass offered and dumped half of it down my back, the other half down the front.

It felt good – the tepid water temporarily cooling my near overheated body down.

I walked infrequently, and then only for a minute.

The marker for mile 2 passes me by. I was amazed that I had made it that far – that I was over half done!

Another water station. I could feel that I still had a good amount of water in the CamelBak, so I took another glass, dumped a mouthful in my mouth, then poured the rest over the back of my neck.

It's amazing how tepid water can cool you down when your body temperature is elevated.

Rounding a bend, I see off in the distance a hill. I'm familiar with this stretch of the West River Parkway – it's the boardwalk right by the Stone Arch Bridge, and the hill after the boardwalk is a long, gradual slope. I would have preferred a steep, shorter one. Get it over with quickly.

My problem: I hadn't prepared to run up a hill. All of my preparation – my training – involved only flat terrain. How could I run up this?

I walked. For a minute – then I started to run once more.

I finally crossed over the top of the hill to see the Metrodome – the finish line – off to my right. I was almost there! But I could see the runners snaking along the road in front of me. We definitely weren't taking a direct route to the ‘Dome. How much further can this go on? I never saw a marker for mile 3.

I started to feel tired - like my legs were turning into lead. How could this be? Did I push myself too hard in this heat? I didn't feel like I was getting sick. But mentally, I'm starting to lose my focus. How much further? I don't know if I can do this!

I'll walk. Just for a minute.

Moving closer – ever closer to the finish. Still no mile marker 3. Where is it? Did I miss it?

My minute was up. I didn't feel like running anymore, but I forced myself to start again. I was not going to walk across that finish line.

I drank more water, hoping that would help.

I felt myself starting to falter, trying to justify to myself to walk again despite being so close to the finish. The crowd (mostly other runners that finished before I had) was cheering me, all of us on.

“You're almost there!”

“Don't quit now – just a little further!”

The cheering boosted my spirits, but my body was starting to speak louder. “Slow down…just for a little while…”

I started to slow down…

“Come on…don't give up!” a voice pipes up behind me.

I turn to see two other women slowly jogging by on my right.

One of them says, “You're doing great!” and it's accompanied by a pat on my shoulder.
Suddenly, I had the energy. I had found my proverbial “second wind”. I started running again, catching up to these two women who were running the same pace that I was used to.

“Are we there yet?” I pant.

They laugh and say “yes!”

Introductions were made: Sara and Diane.

One foot in front of the other…each step taking us closer to the finish.

“Have you raced the Torchlight before?” Sara asks me.

“No…actually this is my very first 5k,” I say.

They both look at me astonished. “We've been doing 5k's for a while now…and you're doing a fantastic job!” Diane said. Well…that made me feel a little bit better. More wind under my sails.

We turn a corner – and there's the finish line. Just a half a block away.

I can do it. I can do this. I can do this!

We all cross the finish line and I reach down to stop my stopwatch: 33 minutes 37 seconds.

Faster than I expected. No wonder I was tired! Diane and Sara gave me a high five after the finish. I felt good. Victorious.

Walking from the finish to the after-race area for refreshments, I ran into them again. They both ran over, gave me a big (and sweaty) hug and said “congratulations on your first 5k! You did so good! Woooo!”

I was excited, thanked them and told them that it was so nice to meet them. Then we parted ways, and after a couple of seconds I lost them in the sea of the thousands of hot, sweaty runners.

I never got their last names and they didn't ask for mine. But those two – Diane and Sara – I will remember for a very long time. They gave me the motivation and the encouragement to tough it out. To not give up.

To finish the race with a roar, not a whimper.

I roared.

The Birds - 2005

July 22nd, 2005. Published under General. 1 Comment.

I took a short lunch break last week, because it was freezing in my office and I needed to thaw out, grabbed a Jimmy John's sandwich and went outside to watch the tennis matches across the street.

I watched tennis for a while, but then I discovered another “sport” that was going on, and I was an unwitting participant.

There were three little brown birds - fully grown finches- flitting about on the steps of the concrete terraces that everyone was sitting on to watch the tennis match. I was on the end of one of the terraces by the steps and I couldn't help how damn cute they were so I pinched off a bit of my sandwich bread and tossed it towards them.

BATTLE ROYALE ENSUED.

I couldn't believe how fierce* these cute little brown birds were over a piece of bread! And it’s not like they were starving, on the contrary, they were quite fat and healthy.

I did notice that in this group of three there was an Alpha bird, a Beta bird (who damn well wanted to be the Alpha) and an Omega bird. If Alpha or Beta went for the bread, Omega would just get out of the way, shrink off into the background and look sad and pitiful. Broke my heart.

So the next time, I took off three bits and threw two of the pieces at Alpha and Beta and while they were distracted, I threw the third piece at Omega. Everyone got a piece that time!

It was hilarious watching these three fat little birds jockeying for position when I made any type of movement towards my sandwich…watching…waiting…poised to strike if I threw out a bit of bread. It was like a choreographed feeding frenzy – Alpha getting in the front, Beta “elbowing” Alpha trying to get better position and Alpha freaking out, and Omega bouncing back and forth behind the other two hoping for his own scrap of bread.

I lost count of how many bits of bread I threw over to those spazzy, adorable little birds…but that was by far way more entertaining than anything else going on. They even knew when I was done with my sandwich because they took off shortly after I popped the last of the sandwich in my mouth, with Omega lingering for just a little bit hoping for one more piece.

Turns out, on my sandwich wrapper, there was a little piece of bread. I picked it up and tossed it to Omega. He happily gobbled it up and flew off into the hot afternoon sun. I think I made little Omega’s day with that last piece of bread.

That was one of those moments where I WISH I had a camera phone.

* - Alpha and Beta were engaged in a vicious tug of war over a bigger piece of bread. I SWEAR I heard one of them growling.

I hate people.

July 22nd, 2005. Published under General. No Comments.

I changed around the color scheme of the blog…still not sure if I like it. I need to figure out how in the hell to do a custom theme on this thing.

Why? 'Cause I got a HELLA KEWL site design to use. Not sure how the components will work into that scheme, though.

Must do more research.

Things are really starting to annoy me today. Big time.

I finally cleared a spot of my desk. I can actually see the surface! It's fucking amazing.

However, I'm still really fucking annoyed.

Run Run Runaround…

July 20th, 2005. Published under General. No Comments.

I've been trying ALL GODDAMN DAY to get my shit together at work, as I'm rapidly getting over my head in work.

I just want to get ONE thing off my desk. Just one!

AAAAAAA!

In other news, I'm getting ready to run my first 5k race. I was going to take a few minutes out of today to make a list of all the things I need to remember for the race.

Not happening.

Wish me luck!

What's a girl to do?

July 19th, 2005. Published under General. No Comments.

Well, now that I've finished the latest book (no, I'm not doing a review of it) on my list of “to reads”, I'm left with not much to read.

At least anything that I WANT to read.

EXCEPT the new Harry Potter book.

I can say with smugness (if that's possible with the Harry Potter phenomenon) that I got into the books shortly before the THIRD book came out.

Oh yeah…I was waaaay ahead of the hysteria bandwagon for the HP books. I know you're jealous.

Well…I'm taking any small victory that I can get.

I'm so pleased with the new Podcast feature on iTunes. I've been able to find some fun stuff to listen to. A few favorite Podcasts:

- This Week In Tech: If you were a viewer of (the now defunct) TechTV's show “The Screen Savers” before they re-made the cast when G4 bought them out, you'll enjoy this podcast.

- Martini Shot (from KCRW): Short, approximately 5 minute verbal essays about life in Los Angeles (or “Hell-A” as I like to call it). The most recent on about the Blackberry his friend owns is quite poignant.

- Le Show (from KCRW): An hours worth of Harry Shearer. I mean, COME ON, it's Harry Shearer! That alone makes it worth it.

So far…those are the podcasts that are holding my attention. I'm waiting desperately for my favorite NPR shows to follow suit and start putting out podcasts: This American Life, Car Talk and Wait Wait Don't Tell Me”. Although I don't think that'll happen soon.

"Iron Sunrise" - Charles Stross

July 13th, 2005. Published under General. No Comments.

The first book in this series (if you can call two books a series), Singularity Sky, introduces readers to a universe where casualty violations are a big no-no.

Why? Read the book and find out.

At times, Singularity Sky is a bit tedious - but only for the fact that in order for you to fully understand the nuances of this universe, you need a lot of details. A. Lot. Of. Details. Thus making it a bit clunky to read at times - but despite that, it's still a great book to read.

Now coming to Iron Sunrise, Stross assumes you've read Singularity Sky already and skips a lot of the explanations about who/what the Eschaton is or what the hell Rachel Mansour does for a living. Sure, you can pick it up without having the experience of Singularity Sky in your consciousness - but it's a much more enjoyable read having that book under your proverbial belt.

Iron Sunrise (the second book in the “series”) introduces us to some pretty sinister characters, and some characters you would expect in any sci-fi novel, but with a twist. Believeable, if not a little predictable, characters that are full of flaws and quirks. Characters that you can get behind and give a damn about.

The story is a engaging one - I personally tore through this book in 4-5 days because I could not put it down. One thing I like about Stross is that he always seems to keep an ace (or two) up his sleeve and pulls them out when needed. Just when you THINK you know what's going to happen next, or who's responsible for something - BAM! Wrong!

The ending is fantastic. You're not left with a Disney-esque “happily ever after” ending…but an ending that not only uncovers more of the mystery surrounding this universe but leaves it WIDE open for a third book.

I pray to God (or diety of your choice) that he writes a third.

Verdict: Go buy it now. NOW! Buy Singularity Sky first, though - you won't regret it.